Unlocking the inner artist...

I woke up this morning and started out my day with half an hour of meditation. Clear my head and make way for fresh ideas and new thoughts. I came out, made myself a cup of tea and some breakfast and sat down to my computer to do some writing. Like I said before, in order for me to be able to write anything new, I need to read everything that came before in order to put me in a place where I feel comfortable continuing. This usually consists of me reading half aloud and half in my head whilst contorting my face into weird facial expressions as I try to put myself into the scene and the character's heads as much as possible. (as i've learned from past experiences and several friends this is something best practiced while in the comfort of my OWN company) My eyes dart around the room as new ideas come in and I start to feel the rush of inspiration coming through me, ready to pour out of me and onto the page. I finish reading and I start to write and write and write until suddenly, almost always, something happens. That whiny, judgemental prissy little good for nothing voice pops in and starts spouting off about everything that is wrong with my writing. "What is the point of this?" "Why would ANYONE want to see this, let alone PAY to see this?" "Do you really think you're going to be able to bring this thing to a full circle and leave your audience satisfied with the fact that you've made them endure the last 60-90 minutes of this?" I start using my backspace button. I start rewriting. The flow gets interrupted and suddenly I find myself at a loss for words, questioning everything that I'm doing and more so my motives for doing it. Looks like this isn't going to be as easy as I thought. So what is this voice and where does it come from? Does it serve us in any way or is it merely stopping us from being able to enjoy our own creative nature? If you are like me, and because of the fact that for the most part you are all human so I'm sure that you probably are, then you too suffer from a ridiculous set of standards that you set for yourself and your imagination. Isn't creativity supposed to be a fun and exciting exploration of our own minds? Yet no matter what, it seems like most of us are never happy with our own creative endeavors. How many times have you complimented a friends work to have them completely down play it and almost get embarrassed by it? How sad that we don't nurture our creativity but instead hide it away and act like it's something to be ashamed of. There is an in incredible book called 'The Artist's Way', by Julia Cameron and if you are like me and everybody that I know and have a hard time opening up the space required in order to let your creativity flow naturally at all times, then I highly suggest you read it. The book is a 12 week program that is all about unlocking our inner artists that yes, believe it or not, we all have living inside of us. There's a ton of amazing reading and some really interesting assignments to do but one of the most beneficial parts of it is something called, 'Morning Pages'. Julia talks all about our inner critic and is set on finding away to get us away from it as much as possible and one of the ways she does this is by asking you to spend half an hour each morning writing three full length, loose leaf pages of complete verbal diarrhea. Don't question what to write, just write. Even if all you can think of is to write over and over that you can't think of anything to write, you're still going to notice the benefits because it is taking you out of the part of your brain that tries to question what you're writing and just gets you writing. I'll be honest here and say that I've attempted to get through the full 12 week program a few times now and have never made it past week five simply due to my own stupid laziness but even when I wasn't following the program completely, i've gone for months at a time writing my morning pages and it's one of the greatest exercises I've done for myself. So maybe it's time for me to start it over again. Maybe it's time for me to remember why we are creative in the first place and stop being SO critical of everything I do. Maybe it's time to... oh my god dare I say it... have a little bit of fun? And maybe if I can do it, then so can you. Next time you decide to pick up a paint brush or a pen and you start to hear that voice come into your head (and I can only hope for your sake that it sounds NOTHING like the voice in mine!) that you can finally start to recognize it for what it is and know that it isn't really you talking, but is really just a set of limiting beliefs that are cutting you off from enjoying your creativity. Go out and buy Julia Cameron's book. Meditate. Write. Sing. Find a way to disentangle yourself from the voice in your head and go out and have fun with your creativity, because in the end, isn't that what it's all about?