How I survived the Ashram...

DONE AND DONE! I SURVIVED THE ASHRAM!!!
When I first considered what I was going to write about my last three weeks, I considered taking a slightly romanticized approach that would be inspiring and would motivate people to want to jump on their mats to twist and bend as soon as possible. But then I thought... where's the fun in that??? I'm sure that you can only imagine how being surrounded by the same 30 people for a month, eating the same food and attending endless lectures given 'mostly' by people who claimed to be speaking English but of which I still remain highly doubtful can do to a person. In short... it was fu*%ing HARD! After one week of formalities and manners and smiles and hugs, people's armour slowly chiseled away to reveal, god forbid, the real human beings that lay underneath, allowing their true colors to finally shine through them. The greatest example of this came in the fruit bowls, (and no I'm not speaking of my fellow homo yogis), but of bowls of fruit set in the centre of tables at breakfast that in the first week seemed to be equally shared by all, even going so far as to see people sacrificing their one banana to another unfortunate soul who didn't get there in time, to the second week when people starting hoarding it like it just might be the last fruit they ever ate. God forbid someone should show up for breakfast late and find empty bowls on the table but plates full of pits and cores and peels. It got so bad we had to be spoken to about it more than once, until eventually fruit distribution became monitored by some of the Ashram vollunteers making it feel slightly like we were children at summer camp and not grown adults in an Ashram learning to be peaceful and compassionate yogis. Slowly you would find that people's conversations drifted from the typical friendly getting to know you vibe, to bitching about fellow classmates, complaining of everything from people sounding too pretentious in class, to farting all night in their rooms (okay maybe that was my complaint on one of my not so yogic days.) Add to this that more than half the students became sick with intense vomiting and diarreah resulting in the Ashram chlorinating our water to the point that it felt like we were drinking from a swimming pool, sporadic power and plumbing failure (oh how the diarreah victims loved that one!) and FIVE, yes FIVE king cobras being caught IN and around the ashram, and you've got one of the biggest yogic challenges i've ever endured. It got to be so much that a group of us even checked into a beautiful 5 star hotel (which we cleverly penned, 'Taj Yoga', named after the incredible Taj Mahal hotel in Nashik) on our day off to lie by the pool, eat real western food, and recharge ourselves before going back for another two weeks. I seem to vaguely recall having my fingers pried away from the beautiful hotel beds that I didn't even get to sleep in whilst screaming, 'FUCK YOGA!! NO MORE YOGA!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME BACK THERE!!!! I'LL NEVER GO BACK!!! (okay maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but I thought I would take a break from my typical modestly and throw a little bit of drama in.. you know... just to try somthing new :)
But in the end, like any challenge we are faced with, I came through it and away from it a bigger and better human being than I went in there as. I quickly realized the futility of bitching and complaining and dare I say, 'whining', and slowly surrendered to the flow of a world my spoiled western mind isn't used to. And once that happened, and my ego had nowhere else to run, I found a presense in my body and mind that brought with it a joy and gratefulness for all that I have, and led me far far away from the fixation I had on all that I don't. And isn't this one of the greatest gifts that yoga can bring? Staying within the confines of my mat, the confines of this day, of this moment, of this breath. Bending and stretching so that I can stay young and flexible not only in my body, but in my spirit and my mind. I will never forget some of the beautiful people who helped me through some of my most trying moments as I continue to grieve the loss of my brother while being so far away from my family, the yoga classes that have given me a lifeline that I can follow as I try to navigate through this crazy and chaotic life, and for the spirituality that lies within all of us, waiting to be discovered so we can all safely find our way back home. More than anything I'm now certified to come home and share this beautiful gift with as many people as I can, doing my part to slowly change our world and make it a better place.
Now I'm in Goa staying in a little beach hut in a hippy village that runs along the coast of miles and miles of beautiful beach with endless water stretching out before me where I will settle for a couple weeks and try to get some writing done before continuing on this wonderful and challenging journey through India and through the rest of my beautiful little life.

Hari Om.
I miss you all like crazy,

Matthew